qwyneth paltrow in france

wednesday 16 feb 2005

couldn’t believe it was time for my port flush again. travel time between office and st vincent’s hospital was 45minutes including the 7 minute walk from kings cross station. my weekly train ticket even covered the fare. as i started to feel all annoyed about going to a hospital again, i switched my brain to imagination mode. i pretended I was elsewhere. as i walked along darlinghurst road kings cross passing through the hip restaurants and some ugly prostitutes, i pretended i was in london. but it wasn’t cold and the sky was so clear and blue. so my mind just pretended i was going to the beach. when i walked into the hospital foyer, i was transported back to england. the set of “sliding doors” movie. i convinced myself gwyneth paltrow was waiting for the lift whilst I walked up the escalator to get to the oncology section. the receptionist had a european accent so it did feel like I was overseas. there was this well groomed male nurse looking very mean but still attractive. when i looked again, the male nurse was actually a female, so i laughed. if christian was there, he would have tripped or fallen off a chair after seeing another butch and convincing lesbian. as i sat on the special chemo chair, I looked around. as usual, i was the youngest patient. most of the patients were staring at me. probably wondering what i was doing there as i did not look sick. or that I shouldn’t be sick. this elderly couple next to me conversed in french and the sound of it transported my mind out of there. as the needle went into my arm, i closed my eyes and pretended I was in france instead of the oncology section of a hospital.

as I walked back home, i felt my arm still bleeding. the port still sensitive. i imaginitively slapped my face and screamed to myself, snap out of it. a port flush is nothing. just get on with your life and forget you have cancer.

lucky i had something exciting to look forward to later that afternoon. it would distract me from feeling upset/ tired after the port flush. daisy didn’t get lost and we ate junk food before going for a walk in hyde park. after that, we watched "closer". jude law, clive owen, julia roberts and some pretty girl. it was such a cute, romantic movie and so different from jelka & jack’s review. i laughed so much in the scene where clive owen and jude law chatted online. after the movie, sis joined us and we had yoshinoya for dinner. yum. daisy slept over after we watched late night tv- will & grace.